I know this is quite the morbid question, but I’ve asked myself this on a regular basis since I was 22. And I’ve always wondered if others ask themselves the same thing.
The first time the thought entered my mind, I was driving. I had just graduated after four amazing years at Davidson College, I had gotten my first job, and I think I may have been dating a great guy (but I don’t really remember). There I was, driving the six hours home, and I thought, you know, if I had a car accident and died today, it would be OK. I am perfectly happy in this moment, and I have absolutely no regrets.
When my kids were super young, I would freak out and never ask myself this question. The fear of leaving them alone paralyzed me to the point that I could not answer the question. But these days they’re older, and I know they would be OK. Last week, I had another day when I asked myself if I would be OK if I died today, and I said yes.
I had enjoyed a few perfect days, the kind of days that you might plan if you knew it was your last few days of living. I had spent time with my very best friends and their children. I had gone to a movie with those same best friends, just the three of us. I had an amazing lunch with my family, parents, sister and brother-in-law that included champagne (for no particular reason, other than it was a Sunday,) and I had spent some wonderful moments with my husband and my children – the kind where you laugh and look at the family you have built and feel so incredibly lucky to be right there right then.
It turns out that when I asked myself if I’d be OK if I died today, I was in a spin class (remember that recent post about making myself a priority!), and I felt physically great from working out. It was also after a nice vacation, and I was excited about the work I had to do. That right there was a perfect day, because the days surrounding it had all the ingredients for my ideal life.
There are plenty of days when I answer no, no way. I’d be so pissed if I died right now. I have so many things I need to do. That’s generally my first thought. And then I remind myself that I need to find time again for those other parts in my life, not just running Her Corner, Inc. and my home, which I affectionately refer to as Irwin, Inc. I need to get to a place where I can answer “yes” again.
I wonder if any of you ask yourselves a similar question, and what would make you say, “Yes, I’d be OK with dying today.”
Frederique is passionate about helping women take their businesses to the next level of growth and success. As founder and CEO of Her Corner, she applies her entrepreneurial spirit, management consulting background and business operations expertise to give women the springboard they need to move forward.