Fear of Success is Such a Load of Cr**

Her Corner

Frederique Irwin

April 23, 2019

I regularly get questions that go something like this:

1. If we succeed in growing this business, how will I also manage to take the time off to spend with my family?

2. How will I handle this business if we accomplish what we’ve set out to do?

To which someone inevitably says—before I have a chance to say anything—“I know, I know, I need to go talk to a therapist about my fear of success.”

At which point I get a little grumpy, because that response is a complete load of you-know-what, something that women have picked up from a bunch of men, Tony Robbins style, who started telling us this lord-knows-when.

So let me clarify something for you.

WE – AND BY ‘WE’ I MEAN US WOMEN – ARE NOT AFRAID OF SUCCESS.

We’re afraid of something else.

We’re afraid of 1) how we would actually take on more; and 2) who would get the short end of the stick if we grew and succeeded.

We’re worried about other people and how they might feel.

What we’re actually afraid of is not the success itself, it’s the fear that success would come at the expense of someone we care about (our parents, our kids, our spouse, our beloved customers (!!)) and how that may make them feel.

So when these thoughts come up—and believe me they will—remind yourself: you don’t need a shrink.

You need to:
1) tell yourself you’ll solve that one when you get there; and
2) ask yourself why you feel so responsible for how everyone else will feel.