A few months ago, business and lifestyle blogger Amy Swift wrote a piece about Resentment, but more specifically about where resentment starts – with shame.
“SHAME IS THE QUIETEST EMOTION, AND WHAT IT OFTEN TURNS INTO IS RESENTMENT,” SHE WROTE.
And as I read, and re-read her post, I stopped in my tracks. I was suddenly remembering all the times women had shown me their most vulnerable moments – and suddenly realizing how many of those moments were grounded around a sense of shame.
Shame about not having made enough money in their business, shame around having to ask someone to help fund their business through a hard period, shame around how much they loved the feeling of making a lot of money, shame around working too much, shame around finding themselves in such a bad place, and so on and so forth.
The memories overwhelmed me, because suddenly I realized the truth in Amy’s words.
Those emotions, especially when left unspoken, would become resentment. Towards others, towards oneself.
And the resentment could (and most likely would,) lead to so many other negative outcomes. And among the bad outcomes that would occur: not being able to move forward. Not being able to achieve our own potential.
I grew up in a culture (the French one,) where shame is used as a way of raising children. I know what it feels like to be shamed by others, and I know how easy it becomes to shame yourself. And I know what it’s like to let shame be the quiet emotion, the one you rarely talk about. It’s just too hard. Too embarrassing. But it is also so dangerous to ignore.
Maybe we can all agree to be as brave as the women who speak up in our programs, who share what they are struggling through, and help them recognize the emotion for what it is – something that needs to be let go. Acknowledged and released.