Beating The Resistance

Her Corner

Frederique Irwin

March 28, 2018

In his book Resisting Happiness, Matthew Kelly talks about the power of resistance: how resistance keeps us from accomplishing goals, encourages self-sabotage, and even stands between us and the happiness we seek.

Resistance manifests, among many things, as fear, doubt, self-deception, procrastination, and laziness.

AND IF YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING OF SIGNIFICANCE, YOU HAVE TO OVERCOME RESISTANCE AGAIN AND AGAIN.

Over time, I have become trained to listen for the resistance. When a business owner presents an overview of her company and states her vision and goals, I am listening for what will stand in her way. Does she believe she will get there? Where is the resistance?

So you can imagine my intrigue when recently I met a woman in one of Her Corner’s Accelerator programs who had more conviction to succeed than anyone I had ever met. I could not find any resistance. It was odd.

What was particularly interesting was that this woman had not yet accomplished a lot with her newly formed business. And yet there was not one person in the room who didn’t believe she would reach her goals.

Everything was present: conviction, determination, tenacity, confidence, audacity. How had she done it? How had she beaten the resistance?

The truth emerged: she had no choice. She literally had no alternative but to succeed.

After taking her four children and leaving an abusive relationship, she had had to start over. She’d had to find a way to make money, to put them through school, to send them to college. She had lived through homelessness. She had survived on the kindness and generosity of friends and family. She had made it by battling the resistance every single day.

And she decided to succeed because the alternative – not being able to provide for her children, living paycheck to paycheck, losing everything – was not an option.

How many of us are actually okay with the alternative? How many of us don’t push as hard as we could or need to, because we know that the alternative-even if it means failing or quitting-would still be acceptable, even if it’s not optimal?

Ask yourself this: Are you really okay with letting the resistance win? Even at your own personal and professional expense? If not, then live your life as though you simply have no alternative except to realize your dreams.