Is this you?
Are you in a group of some sort? A fitness group? A coaching group? A business group? A Her Corner Group?
Do you always find a reason to blame your group for lack of success/ambition/follow through? Do you use your group as a scapegoat for why something isn’t working? Is the lackluster condition of your group standing in the way of your success (or at least you imagine that it is because then you don’t have to be accountable for what’s really going on?)
Here’s the deal – Groups can’t help you.
They just can’t. And they won’t. Ever.
Because they’re not for you.
They’re for someone else.
A woman who:
- Doesn’t have all the answers, but she’s ok with that
- Wants to understand what she doesn’t know by asking others until she learns
- Doesn’t tell us to please not call it “homework” because that’s stressful
- Commits to being there, to showing up, and to getting the most out of the other women who are also taking the time to do the same.
When someone decides to leave a Group, there are a few rare instances when I tell her that I don’t think it’s a good idea. Actually there’s only 1 instance.
That’s when she thinks that just because she’s going through something personally (divorce, new baby, etc.) she won’t be able to contribute to the group and she should bow out.
To her I tell her ‘no way’. Keep coming. If you want to come, if you want to continue to learn, keep coming. No one is going to think any less of you because you need a few months to regain your footing. We’re going to be there for you. We’re going to be cheering for you. And 6 to 12 months from now when you have that breakthrough, we’re going to cheer more loudly for you than for anyone else. Do not bow out because you suddenly think you’re contributing less because of personal changes in your life.
But when anyone else decides to leave a Group, because they don’t have time, they don’t want to do the work, or for any other reason, I think it’s a great idea. Because by then, we’re not for them.
Are we for you?